Nelson-isms

Nelson-isms

Wonderful words of our under-qualified Gospel Doctrine teacher, who, according to our stake president, "has a problem."

"Nelson has a problem" - Stake President

• "Penultimate"
  
• "A pedagogue of some renown among the higher echelons of CES"
  
• "FARMS: Indiana Jones with a Book of Mormon, the good guys"
  
• "torn asunder"
  
• "Gross abomination"
  
• "Hide their gross iniquities from before His face"
  
• "People are weeping, and mourning, and freaking out, really"
  
• "Gross darkness"
  
• "Don't hesitate to give me a little butt-kicking"
  
• (immediately after testimony) [snaps fingers and points]
  
• "Misinformation, disinformation, and ignorance are the three greatest enemies of the Church right now
  
• "MO-DO: Mormon Doctrine"
  
• "Caveat" (pronounced by Nelson as CAW vay ott)
  
• "Truth had been fragmented so much"
  
• "Pretty much removing all disputations"
  
• "I am particularly fond of that dandy little tune [the one about the wise man and the foolish man]"
  
• "Excellent. That's good stuff, that's good stuff right there" [after Nat's comment]
  
• "One other thing: gross darkness"
  
• "Think about it in your mind, as if there were some other place to think of it."
  
• Terrible darkness and this happy place
  
• We're completely out of
• "Okay, its the yuge" (as in usual)
  
• "an under-qualified Sunday school teacher"
  
• "Holy Shnikeys we're out of time"
  
• Think of things that bring you joy: 'man this chocolate cake is delicious'"
  
• "I have never been so happy that I, like, collapsed" (ref. Alma 27)
  
• "You know how much I love a bit of speculation" [throws tie over shoulder]
  
• "This is a serious lesson so I brought along MoDo. I'm all about MoDo. Let's turn to MoDo"
  
• "That is not true, As you can see from the swift and hasty removal of that apostate drawing from the board"
  
• "Go, go Jeremiah 3:18!"
  
• "Let's talk about Gentiles"
  
• "What does it mean for the house of Israel to become as young lions who rend and tear and destroy?"
  
• "Rod of Destruction"
  
• "Josh, you are the Supreme High Lord of Apostasy"
  
• "You know who needs redeeming? Brother Josh Guest who made an absolute buffoon of himself in Sunday School today."
  
• "If you can't see rainbows, watch out: famine, destruction, fire"
  
• "We are exhorted by remotely prominent people to read the words of Isaiah"
  
• "The intense love that the Lord has for us is ...really nifty"
  
• "Polishing is critical"
  
• "A touch of annoyance"
  
• "I had to weed the garden and move the rocks and my dad ate the vegetables because I didn't even like them."
  
• "Why don't we just go to the store and we can freaking buy the dang things
  
• "The wisdom of my youth was confounded thereby"
  
• "The effervescent Spencer Urban"
  
• "Hasten! Put that in your blog, Guest"
  
• "If you can't remember I'm not going to remind you"
  
• "Try not to wax too... Wow... Eloquent"
  
• "Consider this and compare it to the meager gospel doctrine classes which ye are forced to endure on a weekly basis."
  
• "Til it is everlastingly too late, for Josh Guest, betrayer of the good"